fix(self-update): a hung graceful shutdown no longer leaves a LaunchDaemon install down

On a KeepAlive LaunchDaemon (headless macOS) the updater restarts by sending
the server SIGTERM and letting launchd respawn it. launchd only respawns once
the process EXITS, and nothing escalates a stuck stop (systemd would SIGKILL
after TimeoutStopSec). Observed after an update to 1.32.1: the server closed
port 3000, server.stop() never resolved, the process stayed alive and the
service stayed down until it was killed by hand.

- cli.ts: the signal handler arms an unref'd 10s timer that force-exits if
  server.stop() hangs.
- self-update.sh (launchd-daemon): wait up to 30s for the server pid to exit,
  then SIGKILL it. tmux sessions live outside the server and survive.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>

scripts/self-update.sh

@@ -285,7 +285,17 @@ case "$SUPERVISOR" in
     # domain needs root, but we don't need it — kill the server and launchd
     # respawns it on the new dist/ within ThrottleInterval seconds.
     if [[ -n "$SERVER_PID" ]] && kill "$SERVER_PID" 2>/dev/null; then
-      : # respawn is launchd's job from here
+      # Respawn is launchd's job, but only once the old process EXITS. A graceful
+      # shutdown that hangs leaves the port closed and the service down, so
+      # escalate to SIGKILL (tmux sessions live outside the server and survive).
+      for _ in $(seq 1 30); do
+        kill -0 "$SERVER_PID" 2>/dev/null || break
+        sleep 1
+      done
+      if kill -0 "$SERVER_PID" 2>/dev/null; then
+        echo "[self-update] server pid $SERVER_PID still alive 30s after SIGTERM, sending SIGKILL"
+        kill -9 "$SERVER_PID" 2>/dev/null || true
+      fi
     else
       MANUAL_CMD="sudo launchctl kickstart -k system/com.codeman.web"
       write_status "completed-needs-manual-restart" "Update staged — restart Codeman to apply v$TO_VERSION."